The Godliness of Conspiracy Theories

Well, they got me again. This time it was the closing of the AURA solar observatory in the aptly-named Sunspot unincorporated community, at Sacramento Peak, New Mexico. And I was hooked! So much so that I had to write this post about it, and diverge off into a blathering rant regarding the absurd implications of other people’s reactions to it.

This story had it all: FBI agents, Blackhawk helicopters, a mysterious evacuation of a tiny community, the closing of a post office, and even a DVD of The X-Files left behind in a locked building as a tantalizing clue. And, of course, there was the total black-out of information as to why. The local police said the FBI wouldn’t tell them anything, and when asked, the FBI referred reporters to the AURA Consortium that runs the observatory, who, for their part, would refer said reporters right back to the FBI like a game of reporter pong.

The observatory was initially closed on September 6 due to an unspecified “security threat” and remained closed for 11 harrowing days of official silence, during which time the internet tinfoil hat brigade ran amok. Most just proselytized on social media. Some flew drones equipped with GoPros over Sunspot, and the newly-created ghost town below stirred up more emotional theories. A few of the more adventurous sleuths drove right up to the barricade and poked around, reporting a “strange smell” in the air. I started my own investigation as I always do: By watching all the wacky YouTube videos that started popping up like popcorn from the conspiracy-kernels heated by a Lack of Information. Obviously, it was aliens!


Hold it right there, buddy. Not one more word.

Some people posted a video of “two gigantic disc-shaped objects” passing in front of and nearly eclipsing the sun. NASA said these images showed only the moon on its usual lunar orbit as recorded by the International Space Station from two different points in its own orbit. But you know NASA — Never A Straight Answer. As further proof, one woman posted pictures of possibly hundreds of spaceships clustered near the sun — spaceships that looked suspiciously like dust particles on a car window reflecting light from a sunset.

If it wasn’t the aliens, then it was an impending solar flare, so massive that it would burn the Earth to a cinder. Or it was that no-show Nibiru, which is now… let’s see… 30 years late? It’s coming, though, just you wait. Any damn day now…


Nibiru, arriving 2000… 2001… 2003… 2007… 2010…2012… shit, shouldn’t we see SOMEthing by now?

While the videos were as enlightening as ever, you just couldn’t beat the comments that other viewers were posting below them. These ranged from Project BlueBeam to the QAnon jug-heads that claimed the videos as proof that Donald Trump and his Space Force are fighting the evil aliens-slash-demons that are hell-bent on enslaving humanity because that’s for sure in that Bible they never read. I even saw a few who just jumped in with random testaments of blind faith, one woman simply stating, “Just waiting for Jesus!”


Jesus, seen here riding Nibiru towards Earth

Finally, on the eleventh day, the shut-down of the observatory ended and more reasonable theories began to shout down the zealots and True Believers. At first, it was a possible hacking of the cameras at the observatory by a foreign power (most likely China). They were spying on Holloman Air Force Base, conveniently located a scant 16.9 miles away from the Sunspot Observatory as the crow flies.  (Curiously, the infamous Roswell, New Mexico, is only 85.5 miles away, so… yeah, that may well be something to consider, right?) Then it was some religious nut who had gotten it into his head that the observatory was an affront to God, or was preventing the Rapture or Jesus’ comeback tour, and he had launched his own home-made chemical attack on the offending apparatus, hence the “funny smell.” Finally, the FBI itself spoke up and said it was an investigation into a janitor at the site who was suspected of using the observatory’s WiFi network to send and receive images of child pornography. When confronted, the janitor had begun ranting about a “serial killer” on the loose, and so the FBI evacuated the area to conduct a thorough search. Case closed.


Or is it? Of course it isn’t. Not for the All-Seeing I-nternet Conspiracy Brigade. And they do have a point: an 11-day media blackout, Blackhawk helicopters, and the evacuation of an entire community with a blockade put in place does seem GRANDE overkill for a one-man pedo operation. Doesn’t the FBI usually just send two agents in a dark-colored sedan? They flash their badges, and the offending pedophile breaks down in tears, sobbing that the devil made him do it as he’s carted off to prison? Easy-peasy, right? Apparently not so, according to the FBI. According to them, the whole shebang was Standard Operating Procedure. According to the ever-alert and watchful I-Brigade, however, it was a dry run for bigger things ahead.

But that’s all neither here nor there and we won’t settle it until long after we have all been put on the trucks and carted off to the refurbished WalMart detention centers for extermination. For now, I want to get back to discussing the QAnon-type jug-heads and evangelical Christian zealots that posted comments indicating an all-too-eager jump to the Apocalypse.  These folks seem to misunderstand a crucial fact about the Bible, the book they thump but have likely never actually read. Here it is:

Not all of the Bible is meant to be read literally. Much of it is parabolic, or, at the very least, written with such limited understanding of what was actually going on at the time, that it should be regarded as largely symbolic. Let me give a few examples.

Let’s start at the first words “God” actually utters in the Book of Genesis, “Let there be light.” This does not mean God flipped a switch and turned on the sun. “Light” is symbolic of knowledge. This is why “Enlightened” (Illuminated) or Holy beings are depicted with light (halos) emanating from their heads, and why whenever Ziggy has a clever idea, it is depicted as a light bulb over his head.


The Prophet Ziggy after a day of shopping

It is also why we say that someone is “bright” or “brilliant,” and others are “dim.” Here, we see that the Bible often has a two-fold meaning. “Let there be light” could be the writer’s clever way of telling the reader, “Not for nothing, but there’s some useful information hidden in this text.” Another example is the story of Yeshua turning water into wine. And yes, I said Yeshua, not “Jesus.” “Jesus” is mistranslated from the Greek translation, which was mistranslated from the original Hebrew, which had no letter ‘J.’ In fact, the Hebrew is likely mistranslated from the original Aramaic language that Yeshua himself actually spoke, in which his name was Isho.

Anyway, getting back to the wine… . This story could very well be symbolic of the process of photosynthesis. Yeshua, “The Son” (read: Sun) feeds the vines, which take up water and produce grapes, which are then made into wine. Now I hear many saying, “Oh, come on! No one knew what photosynthesis was back then!” Really? You believe one family loaded two of every animal onto a wooden boat, but you doubt anyone had learned basic botany yet? And by the way, what I am suggesting here is that antediluvian civilizations had advanced scientific knowledge that was wiped out by whatever cataclysm we ourselves are now doomed to repeat. All those animals on a boat? If that story is true, it would make more sense to say they were DNA samples and not wholly living beasts. You doubt this, but you accept everything else in the Bible as literal? OK, one more: Yeshua the “Sun” walking on water? Probably a poetic phrase inspired by sunlight reflecting off a watery surface. Have you ever looked at The Last Supper? I mean REALLY looked at it? It is a representation of the Zodiac.


The Zodiac was often depicted with the SUN at the center of the months, which are divided into groups of three.

Yeshua, the “Son”, is at the center of his disciples, who are in groups of three, representing the three months of each of the four seasons. DaVinci even painted them in tones reflecting those seasons. Yeshua was made to personify the Sun at the First Council of Nicea in 325 A.D. when Emperor Constantine combined the newly-formed Christian religion with the traditional Pagan beliefs of Rome in order to prevent the Pagans and early Christians from killing each other and tearing Rome apart. In this way, the Pagans kept their traditions of sun and nature worship as it was cleverly hidden within the New Testament. Yeshua’s story was blended with key points from the stories of older pagan gods such as Nimrod and Mithras. There are countless articles and books attesting to the uncanny similarities, so I won’t go into detail. This article has already gone off the rails.

My point is only that there was at least one civilization with advanced scientific knowledge on this Earth before our current one. If you doubt it, check out Forbidden Archeology by Michael Cremo, or study all of the amazing details built into the Great Pyramid at Giza that we are just now beginning to understand due to our use of satellites.

But enough about Yeshua and the New Testament. Let’s talk about the Old Testament. What if I told you that in the Old Testament, the Serpent is actually the GOOD guy and “God” was the BAD guy? Let’s first look at the word that was mistranslated to mean “God.” The word is Elohim (אֱלֹהִים‬), which is PLURAL, and may explain why “God” says in Genesis 1:26, “Let us make man in our image.” Much of the Old Testament is taken from even older tablets written in cuneiform by the Sumerians, who may have been the first of our species to record a written history. These tablets tell of “those who from the heavens to Earth came.” A growing number of modern scholars believe these tablets tell of an advanced race who visited Earth and created modern humans as a hybrid species from Australopithecus, our apelike ancestors to whom we seem to have so much trouble finding a link.

These early humans (or “Adapa” which many scholars have compared to the Adam of Genesis) were created as a slave race meant to toil on Earth and serve their alien overlords. One of these overlords took pity on the humans and broke the law by trying to educate them. He told them of their potential to become “like the gods” — that is, he shared with them the fruits of the Tree of Knowledge. This is purely symbolic, of course, and the “apple” that “Adam and Eve” ate is now a symbol of this knowledge. This is why apples are always depicted on a teacher’s desk in Back to School adverts. It is also the origin of the story of Newton, the noted physicist, getting the idea of gravity from an apple hitting his head. This story, too, is purely symbolic.

Speaking of symbolism, it is interesting to note that the serpent itself is used as a symbol for DNA and even modern medicine in the form of the Caduceus:


Two serpents performing the Dance of the Double Helix

How can that be “evil”? The only evil is in the limit or outright suppression of knowledge, and this is precisely what the Council of Nicea did, and it is precisely what has continued down through the ages ever since, with the Catholic Church maintaining its stranglehold over Europe during the Dark Ages — hence, no light/knowledge being allowed to shine through, so educated people had to hide this knowledge for future generations in the symbolism of fairy tales, myths, and artwork. DaVinci was very adept at this, and his hatred for the Catholic Church is well-known today. Not only the church, but kings also had their way with the ancient texts, removing anything they didn’t think people should be thinking about and adding whatever they liked. How, then, can anyone say the Bible is anything but a broken text? Sure, some of the true Light “God” calls for in Genesis remains, but it has been refracted by the Powers that Be. Entire books have been removed and cast aside as apocrypha, including the very enlightening Books of Enoch and the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, which details the infancy of Yeshua.

While I’m rambling, here’s another bit of freaky symbolism for ya’: The Star of David, symbol of Israel, has also been the Talisman of Saturn since at least the 16th century. The Star of David, from tip to tip, forms a hexagon. In 2006, NASA’s Cassini space probe photographed a perfect hexagon on Saturn’s north pole. Now what do you suppose are the odds of that?

Star of David 3

According to Luciferianism, Lucifer is regarded as the “higher octave” of Saturn, whereas Satan represents its “lower octave.”

I have rattled on enough. You see how crazy the “Christian Right” evangelicals raving about Jesus in the new Dark Age of the U.S. make me? My mother used to tell me “The Christian Right are not the Right Christians.” For those, one need look no further than the Cathars of Gaul and the teachings of Gnostic Christianity. Do these so-called evangelical Christians with their ultra-conservative views know anything of them? These Bible-thumping evangelicals yell and scream and condemn what they don’t understand, all the while awaiting a “Rapture” that is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible, really, except for a short bit in Matthew 24:40-41: “Two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left.” It doesn’t really clarify who will be taken or why, only that half the population may just up and vanish some day. Yeshua was an Essene, and well-versed in the teachings of the Eastern Mystery Schools. Indeed, Yeshua was most likely a Buddha and shared much more than we are shown in the heavily-edited New Testament. Yeshua may even have reincarnated — in fact, he likely did — but “Jesus Christ” is not coming back.

Personally, I do like to believe that The Christ will return, and I do not mean “Jesus.” According to the Gnostics, “Christ” is an illuminated consciousness with an awareness of the Oneness of all things. “Christ” is more of a title for someone who has attained true Enlightenment, a word similar to “Teacher” — or “Buddha.” There have been a few Christs throughout human development. Sadly, most modern American “Christians” still think it was Jesus’s last name. I would hope if anyone reads this discordant diatribe, they will take it as an invitation to read the Bible with a mind towards the things mentioned in this long-winded rant. It sure makes books like Ezekiel much more compelling.

I do not mean to be offensive or antagonistic, just hopefully entertaining. I am well aware that much of what I have written is probably inaccurate. I hope any dubious readers will research these topics themselves. Either way, it should erode some of the dogma that has crusted over much of human history. In the end, all the Elohim (“God”) want from us is what we should want from ourselves, and this is found in the Book of Micah, 6:8: See that justice is done, let mercy be your first concern, and walk humbly with the Elohim.

In closing, I leave you with a line not from the Bible but from Shakespeare: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

3 thoughts on “The Godliness of Conspiracy Theories

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